Where How What Why

Why do we lack , or loose our self-confidence? Is it our behaviour style, the environment we grew up in, or events of disappointment that we just couldn’t recover from? Either way, it comes down to our programming. Powerful thing that subconscious mind of ours.

When we are told something for long enough we start to believe it. It starts with the input of information to our subconscious. When we start to affirm it with our own thoughts, without realising it will make a mindful connection with those neurons, and bingo, a new program has begun.

The good news is we can override, or start a new program.

As we start to look at how to do this, it’s important that we do this in the context of everything we have learn’t so far. It is all inter-relational.

Earlier we did an exercise in developing our value system. Now we will do the same thing, but with our skills, attitudes, and belief.

In your notebook, write down a list of the things that you think make up either who you are, or who you want to be. Once you have your list, select the 8 most important to you.

This will become your personal attribute wheel. Overlay your values to this and you have a good start to who and what you stand for and the person you are, or will become. This will become your personal program, the one your subconscious will drive you to be. Put careful thought in to this, it is the beginning of the rest of your life.

When our self-confidence is low, all the pieces of the wheel that make up who we are, become disconnected and fractured. So learning to be more assertive and growing our self-confidence, developing the pieces of our wheel – is a worthwhile journey. Then we can become all we are destined to be, and reach our dreams and goals we set for ourselves, or once had.


To start this journey we need to decide what our limitations are. Most of them are the ones we put on ourselves through our mindset. It could be starting a new colony on Pluto, or it could be landing your next job. With today’s technology, innovations and our enormous library of knowledge, there is almost nothing that can not overcome any of the obstacles or challenges that we might be faced with. However it begins with your mindset.

Do you have a dream or passion, a burning desire and a longing to achieve something? Your first question is, has it been done before? If so, then why can’t you do it? If it hasn’t been done before, why not? Analyse it, plan it and use your new goal setting skills to make it happen.

Will you find a way, or make an excuse?

But I just don’t have the self-confidence to do that!

Fantastic, at least we have a starting point. Let’s get that self-confidence where it needs to be and start your new program.

Start by removing the completely wrong and self destroying program that has been set so far.

Write a list of all the negative things that have been said about you. Things said by your parents, teachers, friends, coaches, bosses etc. Now some of them might have been said by well meaning people that love you and want the best for you. However it has still been a negative program. Silly things like:

  • Your too big / small to do that
  • Your not fast enough
  • Agile enough
  • Strong enough
  • Don’t have natural ability
  • Or god forbid – your a girl

There are hundreds of things that have been said that have gone into our subconscious mind.

Once you have your list, put a big square round it with a thick texta. Next to it or under it write this statement:

All of these statements are complete lies. They are untrue and absolute rubbish. They do not summarise who I am or who I can be. These lies have no impact on what I can achieve or who I will become.

Put this on your wall, mirror door, wherever you will see it daily. Now read this out aloud every day.

I’ll explain the importance of this and what is actually happening shortly.