There is often a misconception as to what assertive behaviour is. Here are a few dictionary definitions:
Confirming confidently, positively. To defend one’s rights or opinions, sometimes with unnecessary zeal – Chambers Dictionary
Expressing opinions or desires strongly and with confidence so that people take notice – Oxford Dictionary
An honest, direct, and appropriate expression of one’s feelings, thoughts, and beliefs, while being well adjusted. – Mine ( Bruce Bowen)
Assertiveness is the ability to communicate your needs, feelings, opinions, and beliefs in an open and honest manner without violating the rights of others.
Often we think assertiveness is a dirty word and has negative connotations. Particularly the ‘S‘ and ‘C‘ behaviour styles. Assertive behaviour is more often associated with the outgoing styles of ‘D‘ & ‘I‘ The fear of S & C is that it could cause a level of conflict so they will avoid it at all costs. So again for the S & C styles, it’s perfectly ok you are not alone and it’s natural to feel this way, although you don’t have to. In fact you shouldn’t, why?
Again assertiveness is related to your self-awareness of it. Too little can cause issues, just as an over healthy assertiveness can cause huge problems.
The lack of assertiveness can lead to:
However the benefits of having a level of assertiveness far outweigh the possible repercussions of not exercising you assertive rights. Some of these are: